Likes Aren’t Loyalty: Building a Community That Actually Connects
This week I’m keeping it so real as I speak a little on the importance but also the struggles of building a community.
When I first started building community online, I thought I was doing all the right things. Posting consistently. Keeping things on-brand. Getting the likes. The engagement.
But deep down, I knew something was missing.
People were responding… but not really connecting. They saw the content, but didn’t always feel the heart behind it.
And I had to ask myself , am I building a crowd or a community? Am I building legacy or a monument to myself ? That’s when God began to shift things for me.
I started sharing more of the journey , the wins and the wrestles.
I stopped trying to sound like I had it all together and started showing up as I really was.
And slowly but surely… people leaned in. Not because it was perfect , but because it was real. What’s wild is, I’ve seen the same thing happen across the different spaces I’m called to.
In addition to pastoring The VINE Movement, I also lead Black Girls in Tech , an organisation that’s grown to serve over 35,000 women across 6 campuses.
And even in that tech space, what’s built real momentum hasn’t been the aesthetics or the algorithms. It’s been the heart behind it.
The sense of belonging. The stories. The support.
Community is deeper than content. It’s people feeling seen and safe and supported , whether we’re talking scripture or software.
So if you’re in a season where it feels like people are watching but not connecting… Don’t just look at your numbers. Check the nurture.
Ask yourself: Am I being present or just posting?
Here are a few ways I’ve learned to build deeper connection , online and in real life:
Ask meaningful questions in your content , not just “engagement” bait, but things that matter.
Share what God is teaching you right now, even if it’s not wrapped up in a neat little lesson.
Respond to people like they matter , because they do. One DM, one comment, one “I see you” goes a long way.
Create space for others to speak, not just listen. Community is a conversation.
You don’t need a huge following to make a huge impact.You just need to show up with heart, honesty, and a willingness to serve.People don’t need another perfectly polished leader. They need someone who’s real. Someone who carries presence. Someone who’s willing to walk with them, not just preach at them.
So yeah , likes are cute. But loyalty? That’s built through love.
And that’s the kind of community I want to keep building.
With Love,
Karen
Builder’s Prompt:
Think about the space you’re building , online or in-person. Now ask yourself:
“Where can I move from performance to presence?”
Choose one small shift this week , maybe it’s sharing a personal story, starting a real conversation, or reaching out to someone 1:1.
You’re not just building content. You’re building connection.
